dyke.COMEDY

"You're gonna be okay..." - Ellen Degeneres

Ellen DeGeneres' Tulane University Commencement Speech 5/16/09

Judy Carter Quote

"Pronouns make it hard to keep our sexual orientation a secret when our co-workers ask us about our weekend. I had a great time with...THEM. Great! Now they don't think you're queer ~ just a big slut!"

Roseanne Quote

"They say that lesbians hate men. Why would a lesbian hate a man? They don't have to fuck them!"

Kate Clinton Quote

"I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir."

Ellen DeGeneres Quote

"I was raised around heterosexuals, as all heterosexuals are, that's where us gay people come from... you heterosexuals."

Arnold Schwarzenegger Quote

"I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman."

Lea DeLaria Quote

"As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room."

Dawn French Quote

"I am not, I repeat, NOT a lesbian - even though I'd like to be one when I grow up."

Kate Clinton Quote

"I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times."

Lea DeLaria Quote

"It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me."

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